grammardog

Lesson: if there are things you want to see, you should just Google image search those things. For example:

"zombie michael jackson pumpkin"



"swimming pig"



"so many cupcakes"

- I searched for my glasses for a full hour this morning before finding them behind some books in the bookcase. If there is anything more fury-inducing than looking for your glasses without your glasses on, I don't know it. Going blind is going to be really tough.

- Bea Arthur has started to make a habit of jumping off the windowsill and onto my snoring body at night. Do not want.

- My family is coming to dinner at my house tonight for the first time ever. I am making curried cider-braised pork chops, and a wilted spinach salad with warm apple cider and bacon dressing, and maybe a strawberry cake if I can find a recipe.

- God, I'm glad to have my glasses back.

- I forgot to mention that I got to meet abbeyrd this summer in the flesh and it was so great. She is sweet and funny and open and warm. We went to the Public Gardens and had some ice cream on the coldest day of the summer. I love it when meeting your internet friends in real life is just like you imagine it's going to be.

- My dad had an x-ray the other day and things are looking good... no sign of the cancer spreading or growing, and no more fluid on his lungs. The test is pretty basic so they're doing an MRI in a few weeks to have a better look, but we're very happy to hear this news. The other day my dad found an old lady on the sidewalk who was trying to find her way back to her nursing home but got lost, and he drove her back and checked in with the front desk to make sure she was in the right place and she called him such a nice young man. Aw, Dad.

- Yesterday I found my high school yearbook from my graduating year and realized that my entire write-up thingie next to my picture is a terrible Megadeth quote. I've never listened to Megadeth on purpose in my life, ever. Pretty sure that was someone else's doing.

- Feeling overwhelmed all the time and I don't know why.

ETA: Dinner prep is going pretty great so far:

I'd cook all the time if someone else would wash the dishes. Look how awesome nature is!

Yesterday after work I headed to an appointment with my doctor (note: SECOND consecutive positive interaction! Is the tide turning?) and ran into stoof. stoof took one look at my pallid face, knew right away that I've been eating Triscuits and ramen noodles all week, and offered to pick up some food and come home with me to cook me dinner! She made teriyaki salmon with peppers, shallots, mushrooms, and rice, and it was SO DELICIOUS and the company was so enjoyable and it was the best surprise Friday night hangout ever.

In other news, I poured a large bowl of Raisin Bran this morning and there wasn't one fucking raisin in it.

In more other news: I got tickets to see the cute Beatle! This was a stupid move, since I don't have a penny put aside for London and I had to buy a whole new spring/summer wardrobe because the old one was too small, and I'm way too broke for this. But: Paul McCartney!

Inspired by a Crafter post, I baked 60 cupcakes last night for my department at work, and made a little flag (from repurposed materials) for each cupcake with an environmentally-friendly tip on it. To take a cupcake, each person had to find a flag that they felt they could commit to. It was super-fun... everyone loved the cupcakes, and it was really cool to hear everyone talking about what they were going to do to make changes in their normal habits, and learning new things from reading the flags aloud. AW!

I don't have any cupcakes for you guys, but here are the 60 Earth-friendly tips I collected for your planet-lovin' pleasure:

1. Take your compostables home from work and throw them in your green bin for the next month! (Keep cracker boxes and old paper bags around for this purpose.)
2. Cut up paper from your recycling bin to use as note paper!
3. Park your car instead of using the drive-thru for the next month!
4. Reuse your plastic grocery bags as trash bags instead of tossing them out! The average person uses over 22,000 plastic bags in a lifetime.
5. Turn off your computer overnight for the next month!
6. Turn the power on your DVD player off instead of leaving it on standby.
7. Donate your old housewares to thrift shops instead of throwing them away.
8. If you’re waiting longer than 10 seconds, turn off your car instead of idling!
9. Try cooking a vegetarian meal once a week for the next month– much less energy is used to raise produce than farm animals!
10. Change the lightbulbs in your home to compact fluorescent lightbulbs (CFLs)!
11. Shop with reusable bags whenever you can – keep them in your purse, car, and by the door in your home! Plastic bags have been found in parts of the world where humans almost NEVER go.
12. Start turning off lights when you leave a room!
13. Use the “sleep” mode on your computer instead of the screen saver when it’s on but not in use – this will reduce your PC’s energy consumption by 60-70%, and your computer will live longer!
14. Pick up five pieces of litter each day for a week!
15. Line-dry your clothes for a month!
16. Check your toilet for leaks – put some food colouring in the tank, and if it seeps into the bowl in ten minutes, you’re leaking - you could be wasting hundreds of gallons a month! It’s probably a worn out flapper valve which can be easily replaced.
17. Don’t let the water run while you’re brushing your teeth!
18. Use your crockpot when you can instead of the stove to simmer your eats – you’ll save a ton of energy!
19. Commit to using a barrel or bucket to catch rainwater to water your lawn and garden this summer!
20. Grow/raise some of your own food this summer, even if it’s a little pot of cherry tomatoes!
21. Choose local produce whenever possible – less energy is used to get it to you. Plus, you’ll be supporting local farmers!
22. Try to think about the packaging of the products you buy! For example, instead of a foam container of mushrooms covered in plastic wrap, can you buy them in bulk in a paper bag?
23. Try to replace paper napkins with cloth napkins!
24. Take the paper towel off the roll for a month – put a little stack of washable rags/dishtowels there instead!
25. Try scrubbing your bathtub and sink with baking soda instead of chemical cleaners – the harbour will love you!
26. If you use a notepad for messages at home, invest in an erasable white board instead!
27. Treat yourself to an ice cream! Just ask for a cone instead of a cup.
28. Tape a note to your mailbox that says “No Bulk Mail Please!”
29. Take your own mug to the coffeeshop for a month!
30. Fill a small plastic pop bottle with water, cap it, and put it in your toilet tank away from the flushing mechanism to save water!
31. Try to use your car less by combining trips to the store.
32. Appliances use energy even when they’re not turned on (about 5% of your energy bill). Unplug your appliances when they’re not in use!
33. Celebrate Earth Day with your family this year – get them involved in saving energy and water in your home!
34. Live alone or with an understanding roommate? Consider letting it mellow… if it’s yellow. But if it’s brown, flush it down!
35. Wait until the dishwasher is full to run it!
36. Only run the washing machine with a full load!
37. Water your garden only after the sun goes down to minimize evaporation!
38. Is tap water really so bad? Drink out of the tap instead of buying bottles of water! Unless you’re buying spring water, it’s come out of a tap, anyway.
39. Next time you go for a walk or a hike, bring a bag to collect litter along the way.
40. Visit and support a local park by reserving a campsite at one this summer!
41. Read a book about nature with your family, and talk about it afterwards!
42. Get an English ivy, aloe plant, or a peace lily in your home or office – they remove common toxins from the air!
43. When you use the faucet, keep it on the lowest possible pressure – it doesn’t always need to be on “full-blast”!
44. Use the internet to find out how baking soda and vinegar can be used to clean your whole house!
45. Check out your local Freecycle group to keep more stuff from going to landfills. One person’s trash is another person’s treasure!
46. Bring your unwanted silverware and dishes to keep in your break room at work to reduce the use of disposables!
47. Try to give gifts that don’t involve buying “stuff” – for example, free babysitting, backrubs, making a meal, a donation to charity, tickets to an event, etc.
48. When you have a gift to buy, try visiting the famer’s market before you visit the mall! You’ll be supporting local businesses and your gift will probably involve less waste and less energy consumption.
49. When you get take-out food, take fewer napkins… no one ever uses as many napkins as they take!
50. Bring your own reusable cup/dishes to meetings in your office!
51. When you’ve got a choice, use an electric hand-dryer over paper towels! Paper towels use twice as much energy. For extra points, just wipe your wet hands on your butt.
52. Check the air pressure in your car’s tires! At least 50% of car tires are underinflated, which causes your car to waste fuel.
53. If you smoke, dispose of your cigarette butts properly! In addition to being litter, these can poison animals and cause fires. Try carrying a small metal tin, like an Altoids tin, to put your butts in until they can be thrown away properly.
54. Try “grass-cycling” this summer… leave mown grass on the lawn. It will quickly decompose and return nutrients to the soil, not to mention saving landfill space!
55. Switch to washing all of your laundry in cold water – your clothes will look new longer, you’ll save money and energy, and many detergents now clean just as well in cold water!
56. Tiny living quarters? Try your hand at growing vegetables in a container or a window box… let the internet be your helper!
57. Instead of letting good food go bad, go through your cupboards tonight and make a donation to the food bank tomorrow! Most grocery stores have a donation box.
58. Have a spacious yard? Do some research on creating a simple compost pile this summer!
59. Plant seedlings in egg cartons this spring instead of buying a plastic starter kit!
60. Hang up your bath towels to dry and use them again instead of throwing them straight into the laundry!

Which ones could you make an effort to do this year? I am focusing on buying items with less packaging, trying to buy local when possible, and taking my compostables home from work to throw in the green bin.

Strangely, number 52 was the last one to be taken from the table. I thought that one would go pretty quick since it's so easy and quick!

I just got back from the dentist and am frozen from the neck up. Totally harrowing. Why is the dental experience getting worse as I get older? Nothing makes me panic like having a dental dam plastered over my mouth, metal clamps coming out in four directions, and four hands pushing down on my tongue. On the plus side, my dentist is pretty awesome. He is really dry and quietly hilarious, which is kind of bad, because when is anything funnier than when someone's drilling the crap out of your tooth? There's no worse time to start laughing, which makes me laugh harder. The dentist's chair has a massage feature which he had turned on this morning, and he asked, bent intently over my face and with ten fingers in my mouth, "How's that massage treating you?" After a few seconds of silence, he murmured quietly, almost to himself: "Happy Valentine's Day." I had to fight off laughter through the entire appointment by thinking about my dead relatives.



I wish I hadn't given away all of those cookies to my co-workers. Is that so wrong?

Here is Bea Arthur getting an ear scritch from Sally.



Afterwards, she said he was a good boy, and gave him a counterfeit fiver.

When shopping for eggs, I generally look for the carton of freaks, as I enjoy checking out the textures and colours of the freak eggs, as well as, I must admit, feeling a bit sorry for the carton of eggs that probably won't get picked because they're not perfect and uniform. This carton made a lovely crustless quiche for stoof and robotropolis tonight.



Jesus-approved egg:



Feel free to make as many egg/Jesus related puns as you want.

Steph and Sarah surprised me with some lovely early birthday treats including a bowl for Bea, and the novel upon which Slumdog Millionaire was based. Their lovely company was not a surprise... I always have such good laughs when I spend time with them. Also, they brought wine, salad, and a delicious and hilarious ice cream cake featuring what they tried to sell as a drunken olive:



That is a manatee, and I won't accept anything less.

Day 5 of Eight Days of Happy:

It was my mod day, and I didn't have to work! Hooray! I also vacuumed the crap out of my house and it feels so good to open doors without seeing tumbleweeds of B.Art hair go flying about. Also, tonight I am having Crafternight with stoof and robotropolis, both of whom I adore so much. ALSO, today I went to the grocery store and bought a lot of snacky, delicious food things that I don't normally allow myself for financial reasons, like kielbasa and spiced gouda and artichoke dip and kalamata olives. I can't wait for breakfast!

- I love this idea so much. I think I'm going to try it myself if I ever get an extra dollar in my hand (this is scheduled to occur on Friday! Hooray!)

- I slightly altered an Epicurious recipe to make the most delicious Broccoli, Red Pepper and Cheddar Chowder ever. It's hearty and filling and creamy and flavourful and you will maybe cry when you eat it. ( Do you want it? DO YOU? )

- I managed to clean - really, fully, dust, scrub, wipe - my living room this weekend. This is big... it had become a crafting nightmare with a million different unfinished projects lying around gathering lots and lots of available dust. Everything else is a disaster, but I will just hang out in the living room for a while.

- Sally and I are doing another movie fundraiser this year for Feed Nova Scotia, and White Christmas is finally available to show! I can't wait... locals, mark your calendars for the afternoon of December 14.

- I just made up a budget for myself starting in 2009 when my little raise kicks in and my computer is all paid off. On paper, it looks like I'm going to finally be able to sock a small amount of money away, and even put a little bit aside for future travels, too.

What's a normal percentage of your income to put aside for savings? I'm really curious about other people's money habits, not having ever discussed this stuff with anyone, ever. I managed to get myself out of debt over a year ago, but I've just sort of been hovering at the starting line without getting ahead at all. I'm ready to try to figure out the best ways to do that now. Also, what are your favourite money-saving tips? Where do you cut corners if you must?

I have had this really, really ugly shade-less lamp for a few years which had a piece of very pretty green glass in it, but I never bothered to take the time to take the glass out. Today I took off all the ugly shiny brass and am now using the fun glass with the circle pattern as a hurricane lantern to keep Bea out of the candles.



I also begged some crab apples from the neighbours and bottled 14 jars of jelly tonight. Such sweaty, labour intensive work, and I must have accidentally put my thumb into the boiling water five times while moving the jars. I can't imagine having to do it with a hundred times the produce to actually feed your family, like my grandmother did.

I'm feeling mentally inspired by some of the recent works of Olga on Craftster. I find furniture refinishing to be so intimidating. Also, if anyone had ever told me they had refinished a beautiful buffet in black, white, and yellow, I would have thought they were out of their tree, but look how pretty that first project is! I wish I had the vision to see a project like that in my mind before it was done, but I feel I'm destined to mimic rather than truly create.

Since we're on a crafty theme, here is the shirt I stencilled for brantastic for her birthday. For reasons which I feel will be impossible to describe, we invented a fake band called Girl and the Orbisons, so I made a fake band t-shirt. It took forever to cut that stencil, but I was super happy with the way it turned out.



********************************

My dad today, gesturing at a new building going up near Penhorn Mall:

"We should sell the house and buy one of those condos right there... look how close it is to Sears."

(Pause)

"We could WALK TO SEARS!"

In other My Dad news, he spent an hour and a half on the phone the other night voting for his favourite Canadian Idol. When I found this utterly hilarious, his only comment was, "It's the finals! Where's your spirit?" He cajoled my visiting aunt into calling with her cell phone and voting for Mitch, as well. At 9:59, he shouted agitatedly at my mother and aunt, who were busy chatting and laughing. "Get READY! The lines are almost open!" The clock turned to 10:00, and Dad frantically dialed the phone number and listened for a ring tone.

"I don't hear anything." (Shakes, then peers at the device in his hand.)

"THIS ISN'T THE PHONE!" (Throws down remote control, grabs actual phone and starts dialing.)

Seriously, that happened. My dad dialed the remote control.

**********************************



Halifax Harbour at Dusk, August 2008

Dear Barbequeing Neighbours:

If you had any idea what that grilling steak smells like from inside my balcony-less apartment, you would not put me through this torture. For the love of Pete, STOP WITH THE NIGHTLY BARBEQUES.

Sincerely,
The One Upstairs With the Ham Sandwich

I just went to the gym for the first time in months. YESSSSSS! I won't lie; it was rough. The Biggest Loser was on more than one television. I tried to just close my eyes and focus on my music, but then my mp3 player batteries conked out and I was left with screens full of people trying to run around a track while being tempted with giant platters of pancakes and french fries and I wanted to murder everyone. So I went over to the desk and asked the lady there to please switch the channel to anything that didn't bank on me hating my body. She was mystified.

I finished up three little baby quilts this morning that I made from scraps leftover from Sally's quilt. They used all the scraps up perfectly!





I went to an old camp friend's wedding on Saturday. We had a fantastic time. Here I am with four of my best gals, enjoying the king sized bed in the executive suite:



Also, somehow I ended up with a shovelful of popcorn between my breasts and flashed my bra for a nearby camera. Pretty standard fare.

It is SUCH a beautiful day today... warm and sunny, but breezy and fresh-smelling. Apparently there are forest fires raging today on either side of the city... reps from the Lung Association keep warning about keeping the windows closed and avoiding exercise. I'll manage the latter today, but my windows are open and the breeze is blowing in and sometimes the smell of bread baking from the gocery store will waft in, and as far as I can tell here, it's a perfect summer day.

I picked up some fresh cherries and Greek yogurt this morning for breakfast. It was gorgeous!



After running into bonjourananas on the street and talking about food for a while, I also picked up fixins for an olive oil pizza with goat cheese, spinach, mushrooms, and roasted garlic. I am going to eat like a king this weekend.

I finished my commissioned quilt in the wee hours of the morning today, and it looks a lot better than I thought it would. I am really happy with it, and I hope the recipient is, too. I even hand-stitched the label on the back. All I need to do is wash it (no idea how I'm going to do that yet) and trim all the stray threads and it's ready to go. I'm so glad to have that off my list! It was really stressing me out. When I told someone at work that I was making a quilt out of shirts that belonged to a friend's father who died last year, she said she thought it was really creepy. Imagine! It wouldn't have even crossed my mind that it was creepy... I think it's a wonderful way to hold onto memories of someone while still producing something beautiful and useful.

All of the fabrics in the top are from his clothes except for the red. I threw that in to break up the blues and greens, and also because I wanted to put something in the quilt that represented her life and her father always being with her. Or I made that part up because I wanted to break up the blues and greens.

Here are a few pics of the quilt still needing to be cleaned up a bit, but mostly done:









I'm really pleased with it. Some of the fabrics were really difficult to work with, so I expected a much shoddier product. It's masculine and kind of homey and cozy, all things I think the recipient was hoping for. I told her we would discuss payment when it was finished, but I really feel strange accepting money for this. Really, it was kind of an honour to be asked to do it for her... I think I'll ask her instead to make a donation to the Terry Fox Foundation in her dad's name, since he died of cancer.

Today I was planning to quilt, but since I finished early, I am going to attempt a major purge of my belongings. My closet is so full of Things I Just Can't Get Rid Of that I am actually unable to use them. Last night I spent a half hour digging for a quilting hoop that I knew I had in there, but couldn't find among all the other stuff I had crammed in there. Most of it is stuff I would save if I had the space, but I just have to acknowledge that I do not have the space. I'll be Freecycling a bunch of things today and tomorrow.

Bea Arthur and I might go out for a little while today. I haven't taken him outside since the first trip, but he's been so meow-y lately, we might give it another go. Right now he is flattening his ears and shaking his butt at some birds building a nest outside the window.

I have another date lined up on Monday with Dodie. Did I mention he brought me flowers on our last date? Yep! I don't care if it's the world's biggest cliché, fellas - just do it, alright? We got a little necking in, and it was just lovely! I was very happy to see that my libido made a very rapid comeback from where it's been gathering mould for the last little while. I was actually beginning to worry that there was something physiologically wrong with me, having never experienced any length of non-all-consuming-horniness in my life. It's so nice to be kissed again.

My weekend in Philly was so much fun! slutmuphin was pretty much exactly as I thought he would be, hilarious and clever, and was an awesome host, even giving up his bed and letting me maul his cats endlessly. We did a lot of really fun stuff, including yummydeb's lovely wedding, the Magic Gardens, eating Rita's strawberry water ice which I will try to reproduce as long as I have a blender and breath in my lungs, singing hippie songs together, taking eight million pictures of ourselves, thrift shopping, eating a $1.50 lunch at IKEA, knitting, walking all over the pretty city in the sun and warmth, sitting on slutmuphin's awesome rooftop patio, and having cheap cocktails with his adorable friend Jenny. We had a blast. yummydeb was also exactly as I'd imagined her, warm and full of laughter and friendliness, and was SO beautiful and happy on her wedding day! I felt like I'd known them both forever. You KNOW pictures will follow, right? I mean, there are LOTS.

I saw a guy who looked EXACTLY like Jonathan Penner of Survivor and Melrose Place fame, so much so that even after staring at him for a half hour, I had to go over and ask him if it was actually him. As soon as I heard his non-Alan-Alda-like voice, I knew it wasn't him, but holy crap, it was uncanny. I still wish I had taken a picture of him. That was my non-celebrity sighting of the weekend.

Five different planes and four different cities has all but eliminated my nervousness about plane travel. I feel like an old veteran. I also got a crapload of knitting done on the way back - I didn't know you could take wooden needles on airplanes! I wish I had known that on the way down.

Anyway, a marvelous time was had by all (I think and hope). I hope to meet both of you again, preferably next to a Rita's. Thank you both for a wonderful trip and for being my wonderful friends and I will stop being such a cheeseball now.

In other news, I didn't want to like Scarlett Johansson's version of "Falling Down", but I do, even if the video is ridic and she's not doing anything like singing at all.

This is my favourite meal to make with only a short time to prepare:



Balsamic-glazed pork chops with caramelized shallots... DANG, it's good. It takes about 20 minutes altogether, tastes like it took forever, and uses only a few ingredients that I usually have in the house, anyway. It's so lovely with a green salad, or a side of steamed asparagus or green beans with garlic.

Do you guys have any suggestions/recipes for meals that are really quick to prepare? I'm trying to cook real food more often, instead of eating popcorn and oranges for dinner every night.

Looking through my journal for an old entry, I found this foreshadowing snippet from before I moved out of my parents' place:

Aaaaanyway, long story short, I am looking for a place that's as close to work as possible, and as cheap as possible. I'm hoping to live alone or with Bea Arthur.

I MADE IT HAPPEN!

This was the sunrise outside my bedroom window when I woke up this morning:



It made getting up to another totally WINTER DAY not SO terrible. I GUESS.

Sally's birthday is today! Happy birthday, pretty-pretty. I made this chocolate and GUINNESS(!) cake on javamaven1's recommendation, and it was SO UNBELIEVABLY DELICIOUS. I made 3/4 of the recipe which was ample, borrowed pans (I don't have cake pans, apparently) from nonethewiser and the downstairses, and topped it with a buttercream frosting instead of the ganache in the recipe, and it was just lovely. Here is Sally about to make a wish, and I'm pretty sure she wished for me to stop taking pictures of the cake so she could eat it.



Bea Arthur tested the buttercream before I put it on the cake. You know, to make sure it was alright.



On Easter morning, a bunch of folks were invited to brunch at my parents' house. A discussion was started about religion and the relevancy of it in our personal lives (I didn't start it, I swear), and my dad got frustrated and went outside to do yard work. That night, we were invited to dinner at one of the people's houses who had attended the brunch (AWKWARD SENTENCE CONSTRUCTION AWARD!) and when we sat down at the table, my dad had posted this sign in the center:



Laugh or cry, right? I love my dad.