grammardog

Dear Spider in My Bedroom:

NO. Kleenex'd!

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In other news, Paul McCartney and his band did NOT fuck around last night. He played for almost three hours straight (opening with Drive My Car), sounded like a million dollars, and rocked Live and Let Die under a sky full of fireworks. The setlist also included Blackbird, Eleanor Rigby, Band on the Run, Jet, Back In The USSR, Paperback Writer, Hey Jude, Helter Skelter, I Saw Her Standing There, The Long and Winding Road, Get Back, Sgt. Pepper, Yesterday, Let It Be, Lady Madonna, and, to my delight, Day Tripper, which moxieholic reports hasn't been performed by Paul since The Beatles' last performance in Candlestick Park. I felt so LUCKY to be there... it was thrilling.

The best part of the show was when he pointed out a girl in the crowd who had a banner that read "Please sign my arm so I can get it tattoed". He said he couldn't turn a request like that down, and called her up on stage, to her total freak-out fandom, to sign her upper arm with a Sharpie. I hope she goes through with the tattoo... I like thinking of her at 75 years old telling all the neighbourhood kids the story of her hugging Paul McCartney. Ha ha haawwww.

Edited to add: the video! Thanks, johnnyg!



Best news: I dehydrated myself sufficiently and did not need to pee once during Paul's performance! Overactive bladder, you son of a whore, you will not ruin my life, not yet.

TONIGHT! HOORAY!!!



Ignore that guy with the glasses in the background.

Yesterday after work I headed to an appointment with my doctor (note: SECOND consecutive positive interaction! Is the tide turning?) and ran into stoof. stoof took one look at my pallid face, knew right away that I've been eating Triscuits and ramen noodles all week, and offered to pick up some food and come home with me to cook me dinner! She made teriyaki salmon with peppers, shallots, mushrooms, and rice, and it was SO DELICIOUS and the company was so enjoyable and it was the best surprise Friday night hangout ever.

In other news, I poured a large bowl of Raisin Bran this morning and there wasn't one fucking raisin in it.

In more other news: I got tickets to see the cute Beatle! This was a stupid move, since I don't have a penny put aside for London and I had to buy a whole new spring/summer wardrobe because the old one was too small, and I'm way too broke for this. But: Paul McCartney!

I possibly have a volunteer opportunity to do arts and crafts at a diabetes camp in the Republic of Georgia...? What?

Going to see Rose Cousins and Old Man Luedecke with Symphony Nova Scotia now!

The Elton John concert, AKA "The Largest Halifax Assembly of Caucasians Who Cannot Clap in Time to Music Since Billy Joel Came to Town", ruled so hard. He played for close to three hours without a break, and there wasn't a Disney song in the house. He was extremely gracious and never appeared to be dialing it in, which must he hard some nights after 40 years singing the same songs. My favourite moment was hearing Rocket Man, which I can't really hear without choking up even on the radio, so picture it. And also Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters, which is one of my favourite Elton John tunes. It was just fantastic. ( Here is the set list for you nerds out there, courtesy of Moxieholic. )

So many people I know wanted to go and didn't get tickets. I feel really lucky tonight.

Speaking of lucky, here is a picture of Dodie and I on his birthday. I like to think my appearance is so pillowy because we had just indulged ourselves in sweet and sour ribs and carrot cake, but probably this is just the way I look.

I am going to see Elton John tonight!!!



I know it's not going to be like the good ol' days, and I know I'm going to hear Can You Feel the Love Tonight against my will, but I am still really excited!

Bob Dylan was totally amazing last night! His band was fantastic, and there was an uptempo, sort of rockabilly juke-joint feel to the whole show. Very high energy. It was sort of hard to believe what I was seeing at times... Bob Dylan standing twenty feet away and playing Like A Rolling Stone is definitely an experience I won't soon forget.

Another experience I won't soon forget is having my purse checked by security. She rifled through it, and without so much as glancing up at me, took a juice box out of it and threw it in the garbage can. What the eff?! This is the exchange as it went down, as I described to a friend:

Security Guard (rifling through purse): *thunk*
Me (stunned): What... what did you just take out of my bag and throw in the garbage can?!?
Security Guard (unmoved): Your juice box.
Me (incredulous): I have diabetes, I have to carry juice with me at all times in case of low blood sugar.
Security Guard (annoyed): You'll have to buy one inside.
Me (even more annoyed): I'm SO ANNOYED that you threw that in the garbage without even asking me about it!
Security Guard (exhausted): He doesn't like those.
Me (scoffing): Who doesn't like those?
Security Guard (so over it): Dylan.
Me (murderous): BOB DYLAN DOESN'T LIKE MY JUICE BOX.
Security Guard (dead inside): That's right. You'll have to move along.

I was irritated beyond measure. Then I had to buy a $3 drink at the concession stand in case my blood sugar went low - I wasn't going to leave the floor at a Bob Dylan concert to treat it - and they poured it into a paper cup, which, apparently, Bob Dylan really likes. Who THROWS AWAY items out of somebody's purse without even telling them first? Security at the Metro Centre, I guess. Dang. Anyway, Bob Dylan was wonderful, and I don't even CARE if he hates tetra-paks. He's always been over-sensitive.

I am trying to pack to go to Philly tomorrow! Eeee! Look at me on the internet not packing at all! Eeee!

I just got this response to my online personal ad, from a total stranger:

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HI,

I am thinking that I woudl very much enjoy making you feel so wanted, so sexy, so desired that you can't stand not to meet me. I can imagine the thrill and excitement of meeting you face to face for the first time. We would probably both be so nervous and yet so excited.

You would pull up in your car and I woudl be waiting there for you. As you pull in I would see you smile at me through your car window and I would smile back. We both get out of our cars and move towards each other, smiling, and our eyes fixated on each other as we sense the chemistry and electricity between us that is so rare to find.

While initially we say very little to each other, the deep look into each others eyes say everything. We pause a few seconds to enjoy this moment together, feeling the connection, and allowing our minds to wander with the possibilities. You look down and i reach placie my index finger under your chin and slowly raise your head and whisper to you how beautiful you are as I move my face closer, feeling each other tremble in anticipation. With mouths open, our lips finally meet ... barely touching ... yet feeling all of your lips on mine ... moving them in rythmn with each other very softly and slowly. It last but only a few seconds, but we are both weak in the knees and feel those butterflys in our stomach that neither has felt in a very long time.

We pause a moment and I take your hands in mine and look into your other eyes and whisper to you how beautiful you are ... and you smile ... and kiss you again with the same softness and tenderness as out first. I caress your face, along your neck, and behind your ears as we continue to kiss ... with only the tips of my fingers touching you ... my other hand around your waist pulling you closer as we stand ... holding each other ... our bodies shaking ... thoroughly enjoying each other.

We decide to take a walk and I take your hand in mine. I lean towards you and whisper in your ear how nice it is to have finally met you ... softly kissing you along your neck, behind your ears, and on your cheek, feeling your soft skin on my lips. We get only a few steps and I stop, take you in my arms to taste your kiss again. Neither of us can seem to get enough and while we stroll along, we continue to stop frequently and kiss with growing passion and desire.

Unfortunately, our first meeting comes to an end. The time we spent together seems to have been so short. We share a last long slow and passionate kiss and you get in your car. As you drive away, I see you smile, I smile back, and we blow each other a kiss as I watch you drive away ... our minds totally blown away ... thinking about the next time.

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What was your favourite part? Mine was when he said he would "look into my OTHER eyes". Because, you know, this isn't my only pair.

In more positive personal ad news, I am talking with a nice, smart and funny guy who just sent me an e-mail entitled "I'm Not Your Average Dodecahedron". YESSSSS

Here is a metric boatload of photos from our trip to Boston (none of our own Madonna photos included, sadly, but here and here are some great shots from the same show we saw). Prepare to enjoy/scroll quickly by/defriend me since I never do the polite LJ cut! They are out of sequence, and really don't represent what we did or saw much at all. This is my United States of Whateva!

So, here I am in New Brunswick, pumping gas into the sunset. Originally I looked at this picture and said I looked too fat in it to post it. THEN I said, "Fuck that noise, I just AM fat and that's just the way it is and that's fucking FINE and if people don't like it they can frigging LUMP it", and I'm posting it.



This is Sally in our Luxurious Double Bed, as described on the inn's website. We were promised two double beds, and instead got a double bed and... this. As you can see, Sally is rather unimpressed with her Luxurious Double Bed. As you can also see, I was laughing too hard to really hold the camera steady.



This is probably my favourite picture we took, except for one of Sally wearing her special undergarments that she will not allow me to post and let's face it, she'll probably hate me for life for even mentioning it on Livejournal, but I'm willing to take that risk. Anyway, we found these awesome Coke bottle glasses in a little stationery store in Boston. We laughed for a good five minutes over these. Why we didn't invest the $2.25 USD to bring these babies home with us I will never understand. Sally's expression makes me laugh so hard my head hurts. I love that she is staring slightly past the camera.



It's okay! Our faces didn't freeze like that!



This is my new favourite picture of myself. I'm not kidding, I seriously love it so much. I feel that this is a clear sign that humour now prevails over any shred of dignity or vanity I may have ever had.



Sally + fudge = TLF. She is willing to do anything for a good photo op, I tell you. As we took this, a small boy was staring at her all excited and agape. I think he was a little let down that she didn't actually eat this sign.



Okay, wait. Maybe THIS is my new favourite picture of me. We took this somewhere in the theatre district of Boston. I just noticed that Gene Kelly looks like he's about to break my nose with some kind of Kung Fu smack.



Sally is about to have the dance of her life. And Marilyn is REALLY happy for her.



The Dum Gum - another candy store find. I think it's clear from this photo that Sally would make a FINE president.



This is Sally in the extremely long and involved process of killing a large cricket, which came free with the room at the Ranger Inn in Bangor. Really, I think it can't technically be called "killing" - it was more like a slow, demoralizing beating until finally he stopped resisting and just went towards the light, already. Sally made sure to whack it at least four times before the poor creature actually bit the biscuit. P.S. That bed was huge - as wide as it was long. Sally and I shared it but still woke up in different time zones. Not that I'm complaining, after our Luxurious Double Bed experience (the double bed place came with a millipede instead of a cricket, and also a key that opened every door in the whole building).




This was the sign on our door at the inn. I can't tell you how hilarious we found this to be. Do they just peel off the tape whenever someone requests a non-smoking room?



Also from the Ranger Inn - high-tech door locking systems, for our peace of mind:




Okay, so Sally and I did some shopping at the outlet stores in Kittery. Shit's cheap in Kittery, yo. We had to do a lot of covert receipt burning and rubbing of new clothes under our sweaty armpits so as to throw off Canada Customs. Anyway, we managed somehow to find ourselves in a Lindt outlet store, where they were having a clearance on Easter stuff. After recovering from our palpitations, we picked up 16 of these sweet bunnies for a total of $5 (I believe they sell for around $7 each when they're actually in season?) So we can hardly be blamed. This photo documents the bunnies' first trip to Canada. They were so excited they crowded up by the windshield, and two of them even kissed in all the excitement, as evidenced here. By the by, it is a total optical illusion that the spedometer appears to indicate that we were driving at the time the photo was taken. We would never take a photo like this while going 110 on the highway. NEVER. Especially while giggling so hard we could barely breathe, much less drive. PFFT.



I just couldn't take it any more - one of those babies had to go. Later I found myself wandering around with the little red ribbon from around its neck on my wrist, Kabbalah style. Way to go, Madge! You converted me without me even knowing.



Sally and I took the opportunity of being on the road to eat the most unhealthy foods we could think of. For example, one morning, salt and vinegar chips and cheesies mixed together in a Sobeys bag (try it before knocking it howbout) were on the breakfast menu. Gross, but also yum.



No, THIS is my favourite photograph. We were stopped at a Big Stop in New Brunswick somewhere to make sandwiches at a picnic table. It was all very roadtrip. There was a giant dollop of dog poop on the grass nearby, but Sally said, "I'm just going to pretend that's a molasses cookie!" and we carried on with our meal.



These painted bulls were all over Boston. Mostly I was unfazed by them, but the sparkly one pleased me a great deal, as you can see by my dorky smile. Leave me alone, this is what tourists do.



In accordance with our resolution to eat crap non-stop, we ate at McDonalds, where they supplemented our Chicken McNugget meal with - a yoga DVD...? America is so weird. The insert in the DVD suggests having a Big Mac without the special sauce as a healthy food choice. Who actually believes that two all-beef patties without the special sauce is the road to wellness? Here is Sally, eating several fries, ice cream, and a McNugget all at once, in order to make the yoga DVD more of a challenge for herself.



The best part of the trip was that we didn't hate each other at the end. Here we are proving it, the day after arriving home.



The end! Sorry, dial-up users, but you should really know better than to still have dial-up.

So, Madonna! Sal and I are going! YAHOO!

The plot developed pretty spontaneously this morning. I checked our electronic bulletin board at work and saw that someone had posted two tickets for sale for a show in Boston. I forwarded the post to Sally, suggesting mostly jokingly that we should buy them. Then I started thinking about it seriously, and by the time we were heading off to a meeting at Pier 21, I was fully convinced that we really SHOULD buy them. I spent the bulk of the meeting trying to convince a weakly hemming-and-hawing Sal that it was actually a winning plan. Here's what broke her down: as we were in the car leaving the parking lot after the meeting, a car pulled in front of us, and here is what the license plate said:

MADGE H

I swear on my LIFE, that is true. Has there ever been a clearer sign from the universe? I don't know what the H part means, but MADGE? What are the chances, REALLY. In the absence of a Magic 8-Ball, we let the personalized license plate make our decision. When we got back to the office, we said we'd take the tickets, only to learn that they had already been sold. By then, our hearts had been set, so we hopped on eBay and bought some up for cheap, which is kind of hilarious since we had no intention of going out of country to see Madonna when we left for work this morning.

We're going to drive down on July 7, and we'll have a full five days to spend being total tourists in Boston! I am SO EXCITED to take a little trip... it's been years since I've actually gone anywhere for fun. Putting away a little money every payday specifically for travelling was the best decision I have ever made... I NEVER would have been able to plan something like this otherwise.

So, what's not to be missed in Boston? I've been before, but haven't spent a lot of time exploring. Also, cheap places to stay...?

Squirrel News: L'il Manx is doing awesome. Hope at Hope for Wildlife is taking great care of him. They amputated his tail a little more neatly than the car tire did, and he's on a course of antibiotics (AWWW!) and is apparently running around like new. It's so cute to think about a little baby squirrel on antibiotics, isn't it?