grammardog

- lost hearing with ex-landlord and lost $25
+ don't really care about $25
- probably will never get $350 determined to be owed by ex-landlord
- broke up with boyfriend
+ have actual job without termination date
- lonely as Christ
- needing vacation quite soon after other vacation
+ might one day in years future be able to afford vacation
- considering taking roommate
- body falling apart
+ cat sleeping on desk with chin on stapler
- cannot cannot cannot get on top of finances
+ can't take it with me
- my ex-landlord will probably take some of it with him
+ Sally bought me garbage bags that fit my kitchen garbage can to celebrate my permanent job

Yeesh. More plusses needed.

A few weeks ago, I bought some very ugly, dirty chairs from the Salvation Army with the intention of putting them in my small-ish kitchen. They were $12 for the pair, which, frankly, I felt to be quite steep. Look how ugly and filthy! Vinyl cushions! Ew. But they were nice and sturdy, and I liked the metal frame, so I took them home to fix them up.



This photo is pretty out of focus, but you can kind of see how dirty and rusty and gross these chairs were:



I went out looking for red upholstery fabric to look cute with my light green kitchen, but it was either impossible to find something decent, or ridiculously expensive. Luckily, I came across some adorable apple fabric that I fell in love with, and bought some of that. I also got some white glossy rust paint (holy CRAP, it took a lot of spray paint to get these chairs covered). A week with the swine flu later, and here are the repainted and recovered chairs!



The fabric close up:



Here, Bea Arthur faces the conundrum of how he will reach his food bowl while not having to stand up:



The piping around the cushions was a great challenge - I don't have a zipper or piping foot for my sewing machine, so I improvised by positioning my needle as close to the piping as I could, and pulling the piping under the foot at a 45 degree angle, which I'm sure wasn't great for my machine, but it did the trick, if not perfectly.

I'm so happy with the way these turned out! Now I just need to find/revamp a small table to put between them, and I will have a lovely spot to sit and have my tea. I'm looking forward to having seating in the kitchen, as I often have someone in there while I am cooking, or wish there was a place to sit down while I peel potatoes and such.

On our last day in England, Sally and I decided to take the train to Brighton for a little day trip. It was super-beautiful!



Two ladies loving life:





Tiny boy on a scooter, chasing a pigeon. Quaint!



I could have stayed here forever:



But I didn't.

Lady Gaga, are you seriously going to go and make me love you now? Is it just the fever talking?



I'm actually feeling somewhat human today. Although my head still feels like an inflamed boil that needs lancing, my throat has improved and I was neither shivering violently or sweating profusely when I woke up this morning. At the risk of appearing cocksure in the face of the swine flu pandemic, I've been reading about the Irish famines a bit, and it's making me feel very grateful to live in a time where a fever isn't basically the first stage of death.

Vaccination clinics are now open to those with chronic illness, so when I'm feeling better, I'll head there to get vaccinated just in case this wasn't it.

It's Remembrance Day in Canada today. We remember those who served and those who died in service for our country. I think it's a good day also to think of those who may never have served, but whose lives were impacted terribly by war, all the same.

I made these new pillow covers to suit my new blue-green living room. I love the way they turned out, even if they're a little loose:



Bea Arthur being absolutely ridiculous. I lose my mind when I turn around and he's just hanging out on the sofa like this:



A bunch of pretty ribbon I scored at the Sally Ann for 3.99... now what to do with it all?

It's snowing! And it's gorgeous. Probably in 30 minutes I'll have some different feelings about it, maybe when I attempt climbing the giant hill on my street. I have this ominous sense that this will be the winter I start wiping out a lot.

In other news, did I mention that I was able to serve my landlord with the papers about the hearing on Halloween night, after five attempts? His wife answered the door and called to her son to get him. Her son shouted from a far-off distance: "Is it a girl?" Haaaaaa. Yes, it is the girl of your NIGHTMARES. Anyway, the hearing is on Monday, so we'll see if he actually shows up. I have no idea what actually has to happen to make money come out of his wallet and go into my wallet, but I really need it to happen, so cross your fingers for me. I went to my old apartment yesterday, talked to the residents and got confirmation that they moved in at the beginning of September, so I should be able to win this thing, I think.

In more other news, Bea Arthur and I are celebrating two happy years together. Here he is last night after getting trapped in a plastic bag and racing around blindly trying to get it off. Eventually he gave up trying to escape and just chilled out in the bag.

cynosur dropped in for a visit tonight. As a special entertainment for her, Bea Arthur decided to exit the litter box with a piece of poop still stuck to his butt. He hid under tables and behind the couch when I ran after him, swearing and angrily shaking a wad of toilet paper. We actually did that thing where I ran to one end of the couch to catch him, and he ran to the other, and repeat, several times.

In other news, I have determined that I need a car. I am not sure how this is going to work yet.

Plenty of parents will teach their daughters about avoiding rape, but how many will teach their sons about rape?

Kelly will.

Lesson: if there are things you want to see, you should just Google image search those things. For example:

"zombie michael jackson pumpkin"



"swimming pig"



"so many cupcakes"

As seen from robotropolis' place.

Oh, MAN. Some work friends and I collaborated tonight to make the most awesome costume. This is not a finished pic - imagine the torso painted a solid flesh colour, the pop bottle neck cut down to normal neck length, a necklace added, a dead corsage, and lots of blood at the neck:



It is going to look so great all bloodied up! She is a bit vertically challenged, so she can really pull this look off.

We used a hiking backpack and a mop handle, and a shitload of tape to frame the torso up. We made the torso by duct taping someone into an old shirt and then stuffing it full of newspapers. I am so pleased with it!

I thought I couldn't love Bea Arthur more, but I was wrong.



<3

I was catching up on The Amazing Race last night, and there was a challenge where the teams had to pick up a briefcase. One woman picked up a briefcase, laughed and said, "I feel like a business man!"

What the...?

Bea Arthur was losing his mind tonight over a cat which sounded like it was on my balcony, so I went outside to investigate. Of course, Bea came running to do a little of his own investigating, and I slammed the door quickly from the balcony to prevent his escape. Only... it was the inside door. Which LOCKS from the outside, as it turns out. So I'm standing on my second floor balcony in a t-shirt and bare feet and a full bladder, shivering and begging Bea Arthur to quickly develop opposable thumbs and unlock the door, already. I'm trying to decide if it's worse to get frostbite or just start shouting ridiculously for help. Horrifying options, both.

I tried to slide the screens off the windows, but they were good and stuck. One of the windows was opened a crack, so I consoled myself with the fact that, if need be, I could always just punch a hole through one of the screens and sheepishly pay for it the next morning so I could reach in and grab the door handle. At the 20-minute mark, I decided to just go ahead and break the screen, only to find that it wouldn't break. I tried to slit it open with a clip I found on the balcony... no luck there, either. Now I'm freezing, and panicking, and laughing at the same time because it's going to be so fucking embarrassing to tell this story to someone. After a full half hour, a very kind lady drove into the parking lot across the way and I confessed my situation to her. She rushed off to ring my super, who broke into my house and let me back into inside.

It would have been a very long and chilly night out there.

In other news, my bird-whisperer Dad has successfully trained the neighbourhood bluejays to enter the house to collect peanuts. Here, a brazen little dude checks out the camera before grabbing this one at the back door and flying off to hide it for winter.